“Fuck anyone who let this happen”

TulipR hails from the UK and lived as a trans woman from 26 to 34 including hormone therapy and full genital surgery in 2018. TulipR is active Twitter and leads the Detrans Men’s Group, which he founded in April of this year. Here is his testimony that we hope will be an eye-opener for young people who are feeling uneasy and being pushed by the government, the Woke left and greedy surgeons to embark on a transition of no return becomes.


I want to tell everyone what they took from us, what “irreversible” really means, and what that reality looks like for us. Nobody told me anything about what I’m going to tell you now. I have no feeling in my crotch area. You could stab me with a knife I don’t recognize. The whole area is stunned, as if in shock, and four years later they still can’t understand what happened. Nobody told me that the base of the penis would stay because it can’t be removed – which means you end up with a literal tension inside that contracts. When you take testosterone and your libido returns, you wake up in the morning with a non-penile erection. I wish that was a joke. But this is something that will never come back. My libido died on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for about six months and at the time I was glad to be rid of it, but now ten years later I realize what I’m missing and what I can’t get back. Because even if I had a libido, my neo-vagina is so tight and small that I couldn’t even have sex if I wanted to. And when I use a small vaginal dilator, I get random sensations that evoke pain rather than pleasure. All the pleasure I feel comes from the prostate, which is protruded and encased by the glands of the penis, meaning anal sex is not possible with the risk of further damage.

Then there are the dreams. I often dream that I have both genitals. I tell myself I need to wake up because I know it’s just a dream. And I wake up in a real nightmare. In those moments of amnesia, when I woke up, I touched my crotch and expected something that had been there for three decades, but it wasn’t. My heart is racing every damn time.

Then it’s off to the bathroom. It takes me about ten minutes to empty my bladder, it’s extremely slow, painful and because it drools no matter how much I relax it will then go all over that area leaving me soaked. So after I’ve cleaned myself, I realize moments later that my underwear is wet – no matter how much I wiped, it slowly drips for a good hour. Little did I know that by the time I was thirty-five I was in danger of smelling like piss everywhere. Now I’m getting to the point where I’m coming out of the transition and I’m caught up in the realization that it’s permanent.

During the transition I was obsessed and deeply ill, I can’t believe they were allowed to do this to me, even after all the red flags. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to freeze sperm or if I wanted to have children. In my obsessive and deeply ill state, they just nodded and didn’t tell me the realities of what life would be like. And finally, there’s the dilation, which feels like some sort of demonic ceremony where you impale yourself for twenty excruciating minutes as a reminder of your own stupidity. It’s not regret, it’s sadness and anger. Fuck everyone who let this happen.

testimony of TulipR translated by The media in 4-4-2

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